Third Thinking

My first article for Positive Psychology News Daily

Do strengths translate well to workplaces in China? I run positive leadership workshops in Shanghai and Hong Kong, and recently came across an experience in which the strengths-approach was challenged.

“This assessment doesn’t tell me my weaknesses, it only contains strengths. I don’t get it! What’s the point of an assessment that doesn’t tell you your weaknesses? How can I improve if I don’t know my weaknesses?” Chen shouted from the back of the room. Chen (changed from his real name) and his colleagues, all highly educated senior managers of a Scandinavian shipping firm, attended my positive leadership workshop in Shanghai two months ago. His colleagues were just as puzzled by the absence of weaknesses in their VIA report.

Chen’s top five strengths are: Fairness, Authenticity, Kindness, Love, and Humility. He is confused. There is a dissonance between his reported strengths and his real-life persona. He is known to have a quick temper and regularly fights with his customers. He knows his biggest weakness is the inability to control his temper.

In coaching, the power of the VIA character strengths is not in the identification of strengths but in the integration and the shift that come afterwards. Often a good debrief is required before the individuals can fully make sense of what to do with his or her strengths. Marcus Buckingham’s Go Put Your Strengths To Work is a great resource on applying strengths at the practical level. You can read a great summary of this book at Using Strengths When You Work by Kathryn Britton. I used the following questions to debrief Chen.

Ming Tan: How much do you own these strengths (Fairness, Authenticity, Kindness, Love, and Humility)?

Chen: Definitely fairness, authenticity and humility. But I don’t think I am kind, especially not loving.

Ming: This is interesting. The survey results come from your answers. Let’s explore this a bit. In what situations do you display kindness and care? To whom might you show your kindness? We play different roles in life, and we can behave differently in different roles. Perhaps you show more kindness in one role and less in another role?

Chen: That’s true. I am kind to my wife and my daughter. I am also like this with my friends. But I am not kind at work. How can I be kind and caring at work? We need to fight for our business. When my client is being unreasonable, unlike my colleagues who are passive, I will fight back.

Ming: I can see the strength of fairness and authenticity coming into the picture now. When you sense something is unfair, that is where you might get into arguments with other people. Let’s try this. How do you behave when you are being kind?

Chen: I’m tolerant, willing to listen to other people, considerate, just like when I am with my daughter. I am patient, willing to listen to her, a lot of give and take.

Ming: Great. So let’s take another step. Take the case of your tendency to argue with your client. If you were to tap into your top five strengths, how could these strengths be applied in such a situation?

Chen: Fairness will ensure that I can always balance the needs of my client and our company position. Yes, I see it now. Instead of getting into arguments which damage the relationship, I can apply my kindness and empathy here. I can be more patient and be willing to listen to my clients. Even if they were wrong, I can show some humility too. In the past, when I sense injustice or unreasonableness, I immediately blow up.

Ming: Seems like you’re found a way to tap into your strengths to deal with a real life situation. Let me know how it works out for you when you are back at work.

Chen emailed me three days later. He had almost started an argument with a client. He remembered to apply his kindness and empathy just before he lost his cool. Because he was able to switch to listening and appreciating his client’s perspective, the issue was resolved quickly. He received a big “thank you” from the client afterwards.

Chen had been aware of his temper problem, but the traditional deficit-approach had only exacerbated his frustration. He had tried many ways to no avail: learn to be patient, learn to see things from other people’s perspective, suppress his temper, use calming techniques etc. He finally succeeded by tapping into his strengths, and did so with minimal effort or exertion of self-control.

According to Clifton and Harter (2003), people can change on the changeables but most efficiently through who they are to begin with. In Chen’s case, his development echoes the strengths approach described by Clifton and Harter: identification of talent, integration into one’s view of self, and changed behavior.

As a footnote, I caught up with Chen yesterday. His integration of strengths has helped him turn his former business contacts into friendly relationships. His clients and he are on the same team – not on opposite teams – making his work more fun and meaningful. I asked him to share his insights on strengths approach and he said, “Might as well use them if you’ve got them!”

References:

Buckingham, M. (2007). Go put your strengths to work. New York: Free Press. ISBN 0-7432-6167-4

Clifton, D.O., & Harter, J.K. (2003). Investing in Strengths. In A. K.S. Cameron, B. J.E. Dutton, & C. R.E. Quinn (Eds.), Positive Organizational Scholarship (pp. 111-121). San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.